This is the final blog in the Ceremony Series, focusing on when and why ceremony is useful in our lives. We are social beings, and as such we often look to our community – family and friends – to support us, to celebrate with us, and in general to recognize significant moments in our lives.
We talk frequently about “the big three” kinds of ceremonies – baby welcomings, weddings and funerals or memorial services. These are ceremonies that mark very visible and defined moments in life: the birth or adoption of a child, marriage and death. Most people experience most of these events, and coming together to celebrate and support one another through ceremony at these moments is not only common, but almost expected.
But there are many other times that ceremony can be useful in your life. If you are experiencing a change in your status, ceremony can help you focus on, appreciate or accept, and assist you in moving forward. A great example here is retirement. You have accomplishments that deserve to be recognized as you retire, but this can also be a very stressful time as your day to day world will be changing dramatically. You can use ceremony to help you accept that you are leaving behind a part of how you have defined yourself for much of your adult life. And you can use ceremony to help you focus on new goals and directions for your life that will bring new experiences, new satisfactions, and new challenges. By sharing the ceremony experience with close family and friends, you can be reminded of the love and support that surround you as you move into a new phase of your life.
Personal ceremonies can also be meaningful and helpful as you move through life. You may choose to have a private ceremony (you alone, with one supportive other, or a few close family members) as you seek the strength, support and direction to deal with a serious illness. On a lighter note, you and your spouse may hold a private ceremony to mark the empty nest moment when your youngest child leaves the house and parenting and marriage take on new meaning for you. These personal, sometimes challenging moments that life presents to us can be eased with mindfulness, small rituals, and other aspects of ceremony.
Ceremony, then, can be used at any time to mark your journey through life. It can be performed in a solitary or community setting, in any venue that is meaningful for you. Ceremony can bring solace and support or celebration. It can be used to focus on the present moment, your past experiences, your future goals, or some combination of the three. Ceremony can be as formal as a wedding, or as informal as lighting a candle at home or releasing a paper boat on a stream. You can create your own ceremony, or you can seek the assistance of a trained celebrant to work with you to develop a ceremony that meets your objectives, is respectful of who you are, and that honors this moment in your life.
Life is full of significant moments, and ceremony is a great way to make them memorable, to celebrate them, or to find support and strength. Don’t miss the opportunities ceremony offers in your life.