As I engage with couples for 2017 ceremonies I’ve encountered a variety of opinions on unity rituals. Some couples have a strong connection to classic unity rituals like the unity candle or sand blending ceremony. These rituals are familiar to them, and they appreciate the symbolism they portray. There are ways to customize these familiar rituals to make them fit your circumstances and personalities, and keep them fresh.
If, however, you are interested in including a newer unity ritual, a tree planting, a flower blending, a love letters and wine box, or a wine sharing ritual may be for you. Each of these rituals offers interesting visual and symbolic elements, and can be integrated into your ceremony to offer a personal touch.
Unity rituals at their best have a connection to you as a couple. That’s why I sometimes write a custom unity ritual for my couples. This year I created an ice cream sharing ritual for a couple who included ice cream in all their dates, and I’m currently writing a spice blending ritual for a 2017 couple who loves to cook together. In previous years, one couple performed a hot toddy ritual before offering hot toddies to all their guests. A couple who loved hiking and had Canadian ties built an inukshuk marking their way forward. And couples have created time capsules marking important moments from their past and their hopes for their future together. Each of these rituals was integrated into the overall ceremony giving them even more significance for the couples.
But even with all these unity ritual options, you may not want any unity ritual in your ceremony – and that is totally your choice. You may desire a short ceremony, and don’t want to spend time on a ritual. You may be private or shy people, and wish to minimize the spotlight on yourselves. Or you may just not feel a connection to any of the unity ritual options, which is a totally valid reason to opt out. Unity rituals are not required in a wedding ceremony, so if any of these statements describe you, opting out of a unity ritual may be the right choice.
All options and choices around unity rituals can and should be discussed with your celebrant/officiant during your initial meeting to ensure that your wishes will be respected in your wedding ceremony.