Last week I talked about ways to find your wedding officiant. During your initial phone or e-mail contact you’ve determined that they are available on your wedding date and meet your basic requirements. Now it’s time to schedule a face to face meeting.
Here are 12 questions you want to consider asking prospective officiants when you meet. You don’t need to ask them all – pick the ones that are significant for you as a couple.
– Can we write our own vows? Can we modify any samples you provide? Do you have any restrictions on what we can say in our vows?
– Can we include a unity ritual in our ceremony? What rituals may we choose from? Can you create a custom ritual for us?
– How do you handle readings in the ceremony? What sources do you allow? Do you provide suggestions/options? Can we have someone of our choice offer the reading?
– Can you perform a ceremony free of religious content but still significant for us and our guests?
– Can we include other people in our ceremony? What suggestions do you have for how to do this?
– How many times do you meet with couples prior to the wedding? Do you have the option of Skype, Facetime or teleconference meetings? What is covered at these meetings?
– Please describe your ceremony writing process. Specifically, how do you determine the general flow and content for a wedding ceremony? Can we make changes or ask that something be removed?
– What do we need to do? Are there questionnaires we need to complete? More meetings to attend? Drafts of the ceremony to review? How quickly are we required to respond?
– What is the fee for the ceremony we have discussed? What services are included in that fee? Rehearsal? Sound system? Time at venue before/after ceremony? Processing of legal paperwork? Copy of ceremony? Interlock with other ceremony vendors? Time and travel costs to the ceremony venue?
– Do we sign a contract defining your services and our responsibilities? Is a retainer or deposit required? When is the balance due? What forms of payment do you accept?
– What kind of training and experience do you have as a celebrant/officiant? Do you have any references or testimonials we can read? Do you have a sample of your work that we can review?
– Do you offer premarital counseling? If so, what are your credentials to do so?
One last suggestion – make sure that, in addition to the questions and answers, you take time to consider how comfortable you are with the person. A wedding ceremony is a very personal thing, and you need to feel comfortable asking questions, sharing your story, asking for assistance, or telling them you want something done differently. If you select the right celebrant/officiant, you’ll find that the process can be a very positive, supportive, collaborative experience that results in a ceremony you’ll remember for years to come.