I admit it – I’m a fan of wedding rehearsals. I know that weddings aren’t rocket science, and that most follow a familiar format, but I think rehearsals are great stress relievers for everyone involved. If you are fortunate enough to have access to your ceremony venue the day (or two) before the wedding, it’s well worth your time to hold a rehearsal.
When I run a rehearsal for my couples, it focuses on the logistics of the ceremony, not the content. We gather all the people who will participate in the processional and in the ceremony in any capacity. Your parents and grandparents will appreciate knowing where and when they will line up, who will be escorting them up the aisle, and where they will be seated.
Once we’ve got the wedding party up in front, we can look at the group, help them identify landmarks in the space or even put tape on the floor if necessary so they know where to stand for the ceremony. Next, we walk through the ceremony – literally. We invite readers forward to practice with the microphone, and to learn where to stand when offering their reading. We practice any shifts in position that you will need to remember, and the cues that will tell you it’s time to move. For example, when I say, “Please prepare for your exchange of vows and rings,” that’s your cue to pass your bouquet to your maid of honor and face your partner. If you’re including a unity ritual in your ceremony, we walk through that as well.
We also rehearse the end of the ceremony, including the kiss, since many couples are a bit uncomfortable kissing in front of their guests, and we have a little fun with it at rehearsal to set you at ease. After the kiss we have the wedding party and parents recess as they will the next day, and then we do any or all of it one more time if you wish (but most couples are comfortable after the first round).
One thing we don’t do at rehearsal is practice your vows or the words of the ring vows. I practice those individually with you either immediately after rehearsal or in the hour before your ceremony, so those special moments aren’t shared too soon.
If you don’t have access to your ceremony venue for a rehearsal before your wedding day, rehearsal can be held in an alternate location – your home, back yard, or a space at your rehearsal dinner venue if you’re having one. Another alternative is a “day of walk through” which happens about 90 minutes before your ceremony, in your ceremony venue, and is a quicker version of the rehearsal. This can be a good option if you’re seeing each other before the ceremony, but you’ll want to schedule it after your first look experience with your photographer.
Rehearsals reduce stress for everyone involved and allow you all to relax and savor the ceremony experience without worrying about where and when to be moving about. That said, if you’re having a very simple ceremony with little to no wedding party and your parents will be seated before the processional begins, a rehearsal or even a walk through may not be necessary. If you’re very relaxed about the ceremony, and are OK if everything isn’t “perfect”, you may choose to pass on the rehearsal altogether, and that’s fine, too. Your day, your way.