Monthly Archives: April 2019

Handfasting Rituals: What’s Old is New Again

 in Ceremony / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged handfasting / unity ritual / wedding / wedding ceremony by

Handfasting rituals have been used to recognize and celebrate couples’ commitments to each other across hundreds of years and thousands of miles. First documented in the 16th century in Scotland and used to mark a betrothal or engagement, handfasting today is used as a unity ritual in a wedding ceremony. It is a visual and physical act the signifies the commitment and union of the couple. The handfasting ritual is the genesis of the phrase “tying the knot” in relation to marriage.

There are a number of ways to perform modern handfasting rituals. In all of them, the couple joins hands which are then gently bound together. Once you clasp hands, though, the actual wrapping and tying of your hands can happen any of the following ways:

  • A single cord or sash can be wrapped and tied around your hands by the celebrant as they explain the significance of the binding.
  • Alternately, you can have one or more people assist with the binding while the celebrant takes a narrators role. Couples often choose their parents or siblings or honor attendants for this special role in their ceremony.
Photo credit: Van Dreel Photography
  • Yet another approach to handfasting rituals is to use multiple ribbons or cords placed across your hands by people of your choosing. These ribbons can be used to signify wishes for your marriage going forward. Once all the ribbons are placed, they are tied together in a single knot, gathering the wishes up together. One couple marrying shortly after marriage equality passed in the US had seven friends use ribbons the color of the Pride rainbow, and individually extended their wishes. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

At the end of handfasting rituals you simply slip your hands out of the cord, sash or ribbons without untying the knot. That knot now symbolizes your marriage which, it is hoped, will be a long and happy one.

No matter which approach you prefer for handfasting rituals, they are wonderful ways to demonstrate your union and to involve important people in your ceremony. Pick the option that speaks to you, and have fun making it unique and representative of your love for each other.

Unsung Heroes of Wedding Ceremonies

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ushers / wedding ceremonies / weddings by

The unsung heroes of wedding ceremonies, in my opinion, are ushers. There are many small tasks that ushers can handle, freeing up the rest of the wedding party and parents to handle other demands on their time.

Photography sessions often run very close to ceremony times, with guests arriving while the wedding party is still busy with photos, or trying to quickly refresh make-up, catch a quick drink of water, or cool off if it’s a warm day. Our unsung heroes can step in to welcome guests, direct them to restrooms, to the ceremony space, and to refreshments if they are being offered at that time.

As ceremony time approaches, ushers can encourage guests who are socializing to move into the ceremony space. Depending on the formality of the ceremony, they can offer programs, formally seat guests, and make sure that family members with reserved seats are escorted to them.

A critical role for ushers is to act as traffic managers as the processional begins. They can quietly greet late arriving guests and have them stay in the back until the processional finishes and the ceremony begins. At that point they can assist those guests to open seats in a discreet manner. Some couples include ushers in the processional, asking them to escort grandparents or parents, but ideally one usher is always available to deal with late arrivals.

During the ceremony itself, ushers who are seated near the back can assist any guests who are feeling ill, need to find a restroom, or even help chase down a runaway child. At the end of the ceremony the wedding party and parents leave the ceremony space, followed by the celebrant. The ushers step forward to release the guests from their seats. They can provide the additional service of reminding guests where they need to go next, and if necessary can even hand out maps or directions to out of town guests.

Your ushers provide a warm welcome to your guests, making them feel appreciated and cared for. They relieve stress for you and the wedding party by handling all kinds of small tasks in those busy moments before, during and after the ceremony. Consider adding these unsung heroes of wedding ceremonies to your wedding party. You’ll be glad you did.

Wedding Rings – An Integral Part of Wedding Ceremonies

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged exchange of rings / wedding ceremony / wedding rings / weddings by

Wedding rings are one of the oldest physical representations of marriage, and the exchange of rings is still an integral part of most wedding ceremonies today. The historical significance of wedding rings is rich and interesting.

In Ancient Rome, the groom would present his bride with an iron ring, which is the origin of today’s metal wedding bands. The durable material symbolized strength and permanence. The Romans, as well as the Greeks, placed the ring on the fourth finger of the left hand because they believed that the finger contained the vena amoris, or the vein of love.

Rings still symbolize the union of two people and identify them as a couple. Although couples in many European countries wear their rings on the right hand, there is a theory that the left ring finger was selected as the preferred choice because the ring would receive less damage since most people are right handed.

In many cultures, it was traditional for only the woman to wear a wedding ring. This was also true in the United States prior to World War II. During the war, many servicemen wore their wedding rings as a sign of commitment and as a way to remember their wives while stationed overseas. The tradition continued during the Korean War. After this, wedding ring sets became more popular among civilians as well. The popularity of wedding rings has brought about many diverse styles. In addition to gold, silver and platinum, you can now get durable silicone rings, which are ideal for active couples.

While most couples choose to both give and receive rings in modern wedding ceremonies, sometimes ring wearing is precluded by profession (machinists and some medical professionals are examples here) or by personal preference. In these cases a single ring ritual can still be included in the wedding ceremony with both the giver and wearer acknowledging the significance of the ring as a sign of lasting love and commitment.

Many couples choose to include an additional “unity ritual” in their ceremonies, but the exchange of wedding rings remains the original and lasting sign of the promises of love and commitment voiced in the wedding vows. As I say in many of the ceremonies I write, the rings announce to the world, “I love… and I am loved.” When you glance at your wedding rings may you remember the promises made to and by you, and may you remember the special day you shared those promises with the world.

Amplifying Voices for Your Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged amplification / wedding / wedding ceremony by

Amplifying voices for your ceremony can be an overlooked item when planning for your wedding day. But with your guests gathering from near and far you want to make sure they can hear the ceremony and those special vows that take you across the threshold into marriage.

Even if you’re having an intimate ceremony with immediate family and friends you’ll want to consider amplifying voices for your ceremony. Outdoor ceremonies are especially prone to audio issues as the wind can take voices away from your guests, street noise and even the noises of nature can be louder than you expect. You definitely want to visit your venue on the day of week and as close to your ceremony time as possible to evaluate the area for ambient noises. The rumbling of a refrigerator truck at the loading dock of a golf club during a Friday afternoon ceremony a few years ago would have been disastrous if microphones had not been in place.

Wedding venues sometimes have audio equipment that can be used or rented for your ceremony. If you have a DJ providing music for the ceremony they may be able to provide microphones for the celebrant and readers, too. Because amplifying voices is so important, I’ve invested in a few different portable systems so I can provide what is needed for ceremonies, and some other celebrants do as well. Make sure that you discuss the audio needs with your celebrant and any soloists and make arrangements to have the right audio equipment in place for your ceremony.

Special audio considerations will be needed if your venue does not have electricity (there are battery powered audio systems available, too). You’ll need to figure out what kinds of microphones are needed – hand held, wearable (lavalier or headset), wired or wireless, and if stands are needed. Different audio systems provide for different numbers and kinds of audio inputs, too, so make sure that any system you plan to use can accommodate the number and kind of devices you need.

Using microphones for your personal vows allows your guests to share this important moment in your ceremony.

On a final note, make sure that a sound check is done before the ceremony begins and that a knowledgeable person is available to manage the audio equipment so amplifying voices for your ceremony is seamless and inconspicuous. Your guests can then focus on what they are hearing and experiencing with you as you make your promises and begin your marriage.