Monthly Archives: September 2019

Making Everyone Welcome at Your Wedding

 in Ceremony / Guests / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged wedding ceremony / wedding guests / weddings by

Making everyone welcome at your wedding is one of the most gracious things you can focus on as the hosts of your big day. I’ve written previously about ensuring your ceremony venue is accessible for guests with disabilities but there are other ways to increase your guests’ comfort, too.

If you have a number of guests who are not fluent in English you might consider translating your final ceremony into their preferred language and making those copies available to them before the ceremony begins. This allows them to follow along and feel connected to what is happening.

One couple I worked with went further when the groom and his entire family spoke little English. They hired a translator for the ceremony. I knew about this ahead of time, and was able to assist the translator by providing a copy of the ceremony in advance so she could have her translation ready. I had also written the ceremony focusing on short paragraphs and simpler sentences so there were frequent breaks for translation. If you take this approach, make sure you opt for a shorter ceremony as your guests will be sitting through the equivalent of two ceremonies.

Turkish tea Ritual

Once, the groom, his family and most of his guests were from Turkey. They didn’t want to translate the ceremony, but wanted these important people to feel connected to what was happening. They had the reading offered in both English and Turkish, and we wove a Turkish tea ritual through the entire ceremony. The couple had met over Turkish tea, and often shared tea as they connected at the end of each day. The ingredients, the preparation and the sharing of the tea were all described as analogies to marriage. The guests who couldn’t understand English saw a familiar ritual, and saw the couple valuing the groom’s (and their) heritage.

Making everyone welcome at your wedding takes some thought and creativity, but the rewards are awesome. Your ceremony is more personal, your guests feel more connected to you and everyone is ready for more celebrating afterward.

Greeting Your Guests – Options Abound

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Guests / Trends / Weddings  tagged greeting guests / receiving line / wedding ceremony / wedding etiquette by

Greeting your guests is one of the basic responsibilities for all couples on your wedding day. These are the people you’ve invited to share your special day. Some have traveled significant distances and incurred significant expenses to be with you. It’s important for you to acknowledge their presence and express your appreciation for their efforts. There are, however, traditional and modern, formal and informal ways to accomplish this important task.

Traditionally, a receiving line immediately following the wedding ceremony provided the opportunity to greet your guests. Older style receiving lines included the couple, both sets of parents, and all your attendants in a long line. Receiving lines following the ceremony are still a great way to ensure you have a chance to speak with each of your guests, at least for a few moments. But often the line is limited to just you two, or just you and the parents. Your attendants and your guests are no longer subjected to awkward introductions among strangers, and this also makes the line move much more quickly.

Another opportunity for greeting your guests is a brief receiving line as everyone enters the reception venue for dinner. This can work well if you left immediately after your ceremony for pictures or if you expect that some guests will skip the ceremony and arrive only in time for the reception.

A modern alternative to a receiving line is to have you both re-enter the ceremony space immediately after the wedding party and parents recess at the conclusion of the ceremony. You then act as ushers, greeting your guests as they leave their seats and move on to the next phase of the celebration. This approach tends to take a bit longer, but your guests are able to remain seated until it is their turn to greet you.

Finally, if you’re opting for a more informal approach to greeting your guests you can mingle with them during social hour, or make the rounds of tables during dinner. These approaches work best if you have a smaller number of guests so you can keep track of who you’ve spoken to and who you haven’t.

Greeting your guests may seem like a chore, but as the hosts and honorees of the event, it is your responsibility to welcome and thank them all. These loved ones and friends want to share in your happiness, wish you well, and celebrate with you, so pick the approach that works best for you and enjoy the experience.

Dealing With Wedding Day Concerns

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged wedding / wedding concerns / wedding day / wedding problems / weddings by

Wedding day concerns are common and to be expected. Your wedding day is probably the largest and most formal event you’ve ever planned. On top of that, it marks a milestone moment in your life. Dealing with wedding day concerns in advance can make your day more enjoyable and memorable for you.

Some of your wedding day concerns can be addressed by putting contingency plans in place. For example, if you are planning an outdoor ceremony, what will you do in case of inclement weather? Extreme heat, cold, wind, or rain or thunderstorms can torpedo your dreamed of outdoor ceremony. But if you ensure that you have an acceptable indoor plan, you can roll with whatever weather presents itself on your wedding day. Since weather is beyond our control, it makes sense to plan for the worst and hope for the best, ensuring that you can enjoy your ceremony no matter the weather.

There are a number of wedding day concerns that you can’t plan for, but if you consider them ahead of time you will be prepared to gracefully roll with them if they happen. An example here is the common concern expressed by both brides and grooms, “What if I get emotional or cry during the vows?” My response is always that there is no problem with heartfelt emotion. Practically, the best thing you can do is take a moment to compose yourself and take a few deep, calming breaths. If you or your partner or an attendant can have a tissue handy, that can also help. Remember that a pause that seems incredibly long to you is likely only 15 or 20 seconds. Your guests will wait for you. No one is going anywhere until the ceremony concludes, and recognizing the significance of the moment with some honest emotion is never a problem.

A general wedding day concern is, “What if everything isn’t perfect?” It’s understandable that you want this important day that you’ve been working toward for a year or more to be perfect. But the fact is that there are many moving parts to the day, from the venue to the musicians, to the catering to the weather, to the guests. Most of these you don’t have direct control over on the wedding day, and odds are that something isn’t going to go the way you imagined. Once you’ve planned the day to the best of your ability it’s time to sit back and enjoy the ride. If something goes wrong, ask for help resolving the issue if possible, or just smile and roll with it. Sometimes those snafus make for memorable moments and great stories for years to come.

Considering possible wedding day concerns ahead of time allows you to plan for them where possible. And even just knowing about the possible problems before the wedding day can allow you to accept any imperfections and keep your focus on the important part of the day – making your public declaration of love and commitment to the person you plan to spend your future with. Everything else comes in a distant second. So keep your perspective and have a great day!