Yearly Archives: 2021


Congratulations and Happy Holidays

Congratulations and Happy Holidays are going out to all kinds of celebrating people. First, congratulations to the couples who are getting engaged in the remaining days of 2021. You have lots of excitement and decisions waiting for you as you begin to plan for your wedding day in 2022 or even 2023.

Newly engaged couples, you’ll will want to select your wedding date based on availability of your key vendors. Often that list includes venues, photographers and, of course, celebrants. I’m happy to communicate via voice or email with couples as soon as you have your date and venue selected. With just those two pieces of information I can tell you about my availability and we can begin to have meaningful discussions about your ceremony wishes. It is never too early to secure a date on my calendar. But I hate to turn couples away because their preferred date is already taken.

I’d also like to extend happy holidays wishes to everyone celebrating at this time of year. Whether you celebrate Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or simply New Years I’m wishing everyone safe, healthy and happy gatherings. Special wishes go out to couples I married this year as they celebrate their first holiday season together. Whether you’re celebrating a new engagement or a winter holiday, please accept my congratulations and happy holidays wishes. I look forward to posting more in the new year!


Looking Back at 2021

Looking back at 2021 brings memories of the return to mostly “normal” ceremonies. Memories of rainy outdoor ceremonies and lots of miles put on the car. Memories of happy couples and happy babies. It has been a good year as I officiated 47 ceremonies with one left on the schedule for the coming weeks.

A couple of smaller ceremonies were delayed this year due to COVID outbreaks, but most went off as planned. The return to “normal” is not complete yet as variants and unvaccinated people continue to make scheduling and holding ceremonies a challenge. Holding outdoor ceremonies – always preferred by most of the clients I deal with – helped limit concern of virus spread.

Looking back at 2021 ceremonies, though, it’s clear that the weather was not very cooperative. Three weddings I performed were damp or wet events when the couples chose to continue with outdoor plans despite the weather. One couple did opt to move their ceremony indoors which allowed everyone to be more comfortable… and dry. The weather this year reinforced the need to have a valid bad weather backup plan for any ceremony planned for Minnesota. Equally important, however, is the willingness of the couple to shift to their indoor space when inclement weather strikes.

This year included lots of out of town ceremonies. I’m not sure why that happened, but it certainly impacted the time spent of rehearsals and ceremonies, and the miles put on my car. I did get a couple of overnight hotel stays which helped a bit. So far, all my booked ceremonies for 2022 are here in Rochester, so this year seems to have been an anomaly.

As with every year, the overwhelming impression left looking back at 2021 is one of happy, smiling faces. From the proud parents to the ecstatic brides and grooms, from the tired but proud new parents of a little one to the grandmas celebrating the new generation of their family. All my reasons for offering ceremony services were reinforced once again this year. As I wind down the year, I’m already working with couples planning 2022 ceremonies. And so the cycle begins again.


A Week for Giving Thanks

A week for giving thanks is upon us, offering a time to reflect on the good things in life. I invite you to share in my reflection. I encourage you to take a few moments between the guests, the turkey, the football, and the travel to reflect on the good things in your life, too.

This year I am grateful for vaccines that have allowed us to gather more safely to celebrate the important moments in life. It may have been to welcome a new child to the family, to voice your commitment to each other in marriage, or to commemorate the passing of a loved one. Whatever the reason, our humanity urges us to gather at these times to recognize that our lives have changed. Vaccines have helped us gather more safely.

I am also grateful for the couples I’ve worked with this year on their weddings. A few were couples who legally married last year under COVID restrictions and chose to celebrate in 2021 with a full ceremony and wedding day attended by family and friends. Other couples delayed their weddings until this year or had planned for a 2021 ceremony all along. All the couples invested themselves in their ceremony – providing information and reviews to ensure that the ceremony reflected them and told their story.

A Celebration of Life for a member of my family was both a responsibility and privilege earlier this year, and I was honored to be asked to lead that gathering. That event was balanced by a Baby Welcoming ceremony this fall that served to remind me of the joy and beauty to be found in the newest members of our community.

My life has been touched by all these people celebrating milestone moments. I feel especially honored to be invited into their lives, to share in their stories, and hopefully, to have made their days a bit more memorable. During this week for giving thanks, I offer my sincere wishes to everyone for a safe and Happy Thanksgiving Day.


Special Seating at Weddings

Special seating at weddings is usually provided for the parents and grandparents of the couple, and possibly other close family members. These seats are at the front of the ceremony space to provide the best view of the couple and the ceremony. There are a few things to consider when planning for special seating.

  1. Who do you want to have special seating for at your wedding?
    As mentioned, you’ll want to have places for parents and grandparents at a minimum. If your parents are divorced, you’ll want to make sure their new partners (if any) are seated with them. If you have siblings who are not in the wedding party, you’ll also want them to be up front in reserved spaces.

Other people you may choose to provide special seating for include: spouses/partners of members of your wedding party, godparents, and those who will offer readings during the ceremony. Make sure to allow space for escorts/partners for any of these people. Importantly, you’ll want to have a parent of any flower girls or ring bearers seated up front, along with a chair for the children to sit in during the ceremony.

How will these important people know where to sit?
Ushers can be a great help with guiding these people to the places you’ve allocated for them. Providing a list to the ushers can be helpful here, and ideally the ushers will be able to recognize these special guests. It’s also very helpful for people to be contacted ahead of time to let them know that spaces will be reserved for them and invite them to ask the ushers for assistance. The advance notification can be a task delegated to the moms, dads or siblings.

If you don’t have ushers, you’ll want to place “Reserved” signs on each row near the front, at a minimum. Consider actual seat assignments with name tags on the chairs if many people are involved, or if you’re concerned that your guests may not understand wedding etiquette. Just be careful not to use markers that will transfer to clothing if guests will be sitting or leaning against them.

  1. How will others know to avoid the special seating?
    This is what the “Reserved” signs are for, but recent experiences tell me that sometimes that isn’t enough. In one case, an aunt and grandfather sat in the seats in the front row normally reserved for the groom’s parents. They had to be asked repeatedly (and forcefully) to vacate the seats so the parents would have a place to sit after entering in the processional. In the second case, a stepfather who was seated before the processional began made it nearly impossible for the groom’s father to sit on the aisle as had been rehearsed. The stepfather had to be asked to move down the row as the processional was beginning. Thankfully, he moved and the situation was handled discretely, and no one was aware.

Special seating at weddings can be a bit tricky to coordinate, but is worth the time and effort. You want the very special people in your world to be treated warmly and respectfully. You want other guests to know where, and where not, to sit without feeling uncomfortable. And you want everyone ready to celebrate with you as the music starts, the wedding party enters, and your ceremony begins!


Making The Day Your Own

Making the day your own is often a desire expressed by couples planning their wedding. I’ve seen some great examples this year of couples including elements of the wedding day that reflect who they are and honor their relationship. Enjoy reading about these thoughtful, original couples!

The first couple each had interesting passions. He loved all things from the Viking era, and she researched and appreciated all things Celtic. They wanted to include both interests in their ceremony.The rings were presented on an ax in an adaptation of the Viking ritual that placed the rings on family swords that were exchanged during the wedding.

After the exchange of vows and rings, the couple invited their siblings to perform a handfasting ritual honoring the bride’s Celtic heritage. The sash used was made from the family tartan.

Ax and Sash

The second couple used rock music by Metallica throughout the ceremony, and the bride wore black. Both were authentic for the couple and both were appreciated by their friends. I did notice a shared glance between a few of the older relatives, but the couple felt seen for their authentic selves.

Black Wedding Gown

And last, but not least, another couple was creating a blended family with the bride’s two daughters. They wanted the ceremony to recognize both the marriage of the couple and the formation of the new family. The bride located a children’s book titled, “Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You” by Nancy Tillman. The sweet sentiments were reinforced when the couple presented a copy of the book to the girls so they could follow along during the reading. Later in the ceremony the new stepdad gathered the girls close and made promises to them and placed gold necklaces around their necks to remember the day.

My Love Will Find You

Each of these couples took the concept of making the day your own to heart. The results were as different as the couples were, and each was spectacularly successful. So don’t get burdened by traditions or trends. Making the day your own will result in an authentic wedding day filled with memories to treasure.