Music

Creative Use of Music

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Creative use of music can enhance your wedding ceremony experience. I recently read an article in Brides magazine that sparked a few thoughts for new ways to add meaning to your ceremony with music.

Look up the top wedding song for the years you and your fiance(e) were born in the article linked above. Maybe you want to include those songs in the prelude or postlude music lists (while your guests are being seated or as they are leaving the ceremony space). This is an interesting way to bridge the past and present in your ceremony.

If your parents are still married, a sweet tribute to them would be to have the top wedding song from the year they married played as they enter the ceremony space. This is easy to do for the groom’s parents as they usually enter the ceremony space together, but can be a little trickier for the bride’s parents. There is a graceful way to make this a special moment for your parents even if your dad will be walking you up the aisle. Your parents can enter together to the song from their wedding year, share a hug and kiss, have your mom sit down and your dad return to the back to prepare to escort you in.

An even more personal approach for the parents would be to have a conversation with them about their wedding ceremony. Ask what they remember about it – readings, music, anything special they included in their ceremony? If they remember a special song and it works with your ceremony plans, playing it in their honor as they enter could create a very special moment for all of you. At the very least, sharing the conversation and memories with your parents will be a bonding moment for everyone.

Creative use of music is one more way to make your wedding ceremony uniquely yours. Make sure to keep track of the music used in your wedding ceremony so you can share a similar discussion with your children years from now as they plan their weddings, too.

Use Music to Set the Mood

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Use music to set the mood for your wedding ceremony and wedding day. Taking time to select music that has meaning for you is another way to personalize your wedding ceremony. Yes, your music provider – DJ or live musicians – can provide generic prelude music before your ceremony begins, and can tell you what the most popular choices are for music during the ceremony, too, but why choose those for your once in a lifetime (hopefully) wedding ceremony.

Rather than using the same music other couples are selecting, take a little time to choose cuts that are meaningful to you. Maybe you remember the first song you danced to. Or there’s a song with lyrics that really describe your feelings for each other. Or there’s a certain style of music that gets your toes tapping. Those are the pieces you want to hear on your wedding day.

I worked with one couple who were big K-pop (Korean pop music) fans. Their first trip together was to Canada to see their favorite group perform. So they chose to exit their wedding ceremony to a wonderful upbeat K-pop song. Another couple were big country music fans and found lovely ballads for the processional, and a boot stomping selection for the recessional.

Whether your preference is for traditional, classic music, big band, pop, country or even metal, use music to set the mood for your wedding ceremony. It will make the experience more personal, more memorable, and more authentically you.

The Benefits of Hiring Professionals

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There are benefits to hiring professionals for your wedding day. You can ask friends and relatives to help with many tasks associated with your wedding, from making signs to creating welcome bags for out of town guests staying at hotels; from helping to address invitations to greeting guests at the ceremony. But there are some tasks that I suggest are best handled by professionals.

I will admit that I am biased, since I’m one of the professionals you can hire for your wedding day, but stay with me as I make my case. You probably have an amateur photographer among your acquaintances who could take pictures at your wedding. But they likely will not have the experience or equipment to capture all the special moments that a professional photographer would. And you can certainly ask a friend to run your recorded music for your ceremony, but do you have appropriate speakers so the music will be heard? Will that friend know when to start, stop or cycle a given song so the last part of the processional doesn’t happen in silence and you don’t have to stand awkwardly waiting for the music to finish? Professional DJs and live musicians with wedding experience can ensure there are no awkward silences or over long musical interludes.

Those are just two examples of the difference between using professional vendors and gracious friends and family. Within the world of wedding ceremony trends I cringe when people tell me they’ve asked a brother, uncle or friend to act as their officiant. I’m personally busy enough that I’m not concerned with losing business to this trend, but I worry about the resulting ceremony for a couple of reasons. First, the person acting as officiant often knows one of you better than the other, and likely has a limited perspective on your relationship. This can result in an unbalanced ceremony that doesn’t really focus on you, your love and commitment to each other. You really don’t want your ceremony to sound like the warm-up for the evening’s toasts.

The second reason I worry is because these well-intentioned folks usually don’t have training in what we call the “emotional arc” of the ceremony. A well designed ceremony will carry you and your guests on a journey – it will build to a crescendo, and close with feelings of hope and excitement for your future. Untrained officiants are likely to place ceremony elements in a haphazard order, or draw focus to concepts out of order in a way that leaves everyone feeling a bit at sea. And worst case, the untrained officiant might not follow state requirements to be able to perform a legal ceremony for you, or may get cold feet and back out altogether, only weeks or days before your wedding.

For all the above reasons, I encourage you to consider hiring professionals to handle what you consider to be the most important parts of your wedding day, and to engage your helpful family and friends to work on the surrounding tasks – or just enjoy being welcomed guests. This approach will lead to a memorable wedding day and will reduce the potential for various disasters.

Ensuring your Ceremony Hits the Right Note

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Your ceremony hits the right note when your music is fully integrated and flawlessly performed. When that happens it sets the tone, highlights important ceremony moments, and transitions your guests on to the reception. But music can also hit a sour note, becoming a distraction, leading to awkward silences, and destroying the vision you had for your ceremony.

I’ve had recent experiences at both ends of the spectrum. At one wedding the couple wanted the recorded music played by a family friend. The problem started when they didn’t select that person ahead of time, and did not have the person at the rehearsal so they could see where the music fit into the ceremony. On the wedding day, the person played bits of all the ceremony music while the attendants entered, trying to get to the right piece. The bride actually came in to the recessional song, “Signed, Sealed, Delivered”. Then at the end of the ceremony the device had locked up and the responsible person didn’t know the passcode. It was a quiet recessional, and definitely not what the couple envisioned. Note that if you are having a professional DJ play your recorded music, you don’t need to have them attend the rehearsal, but all amateurs need to be there.

A music disaster was barely averted at another recent ceremony. The couple wanted a piece of music that was special to them played during the ceremony. I included an introductory comment about the significance of the music in the ceremony and thought we were all set to go. When I was reviewing the cue sheet I had prepared for their professional DJ however, she was unaware of the song in the middle of the ceremony. Luckily, she was able to locate and download the music to her computer and insert it into her playlist for the ceremony. Everything worked out OK, but this is a caution to make sure you let your DJ know ahead of time about all the music you want as part of the ceremony.

And finally, the positive experience: This couple selected music that was particularly meaningful to them for both the processional and ring warming ritual. They shared the significance of these pieces with me, and I was able to draw the guests’ attention to it, and even wrap some of the lyrics into my opening comments. This kind of information sharing allowed the music and ceremony to be intertwined in a way that enhanced both.

So when you’re doing your wedding planning, remember to focus on the ceremony music you want and take steps to ensure that it hits the right note to start off your wedding celebration.

The Recessional Song Puts an Exclamation Point on your Ceremony

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The Recessional song you select can put an exclamation point on the end of your wedding ceremony and transition you and your guests to the party that follows. While processional, or opening, music tends to be slower, more romantic or stately, you want your recessional song to start strong and upbeat – to carry you down the aisle as a married couple, and get the party started.

You can personalize your recessional song by choosing your favorite music genre and by paying attention to the message the lyrics convey. Here are a few suggestions across the musical spectrum:

Classical (instrumental): “Water Music, Suite 2” – Handel, “Spring” – Vivaldi, “Brandenburg Concerto, Number 1” – Bach

Country: “Feel Again” – One Republic, “Home” – Phillip Phillips, “Love You Out Loud” – Rascal Flatts

Classic Rock: “Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours” – Stevie Wonder, “All You Need is Love” – The Beatles, “This Will Be (an Everlasting Love)” – Natalie Cole (start 30 seconds in)

Rat Pack: “Come Fly With Me” – Frank Sinatra, “Fly Me To The Moon” – Frank Sinatra

Contemporary: “Best Day of My Life” – American Authors, “You Are the Best Thing In My Life” – Ray LaMontagne, “Lucky” – Jason Mraz/Colbie Caillat, “Heaven” – Los Lonely Boys, “Marry You” – Bruno Mars

Contemporary Instrumentals: “Lucky” – Vitamin String Quartet performs Jason Mraz, “Waterfall” – The Piano Guys (Jon Schmidt Original)

Whether you choose live or recorded music, instrumentals or versions with lyrics, the music you select to close your ceremony will be remembered. Let it reflect your style, your feelings, and your joy on this important day in your life. If your guests are humming along, tapping their toes, or dancing in their seats, you’ll know you’ve hit the right chord. Your recessional song will mark the end of your wedding ceremony with a joyful exclamation point.