Marriage is what happens after the wedding day. While it’s easy to get caught up in all the fun and excitement of wedding planning – we’ll leave all the stress and anxiety of wedding planning for another day – it’s equally important to remember that your wedding day is only the beginning and marriage is what happens after the wedding is over.
Hopefully you’ve made the decision to marry when you feel confident that you know your partner well, when you believe that you are compatible for the long haul, and after you’ve had many deep discussions about your expectations of each other going forward. But sometimes, when you’re excited about falling in love, finding your “other half” and proposing or being proposed to, you might have missed some of the discussions you need to have before marrying.
Here’s a link to a great list of questions to consider and talk over with your partner before signing a wedding certificate. Some of the questions are very personal – about your sex life and intimacy expectations. Some are very practical – about handling finances and careers. And some questions are about long term, big picture hopes and dreams. Each of these categories deserves your time and attention as you ask and answer these questions with each other. Common wisdom says that the two biggest issues in marriages that don’t make it revolve around sex and money. You’ll be able to enter your marriage confident in yourselves and each other if you’ve honestly tackled the questions in this list.
Engagements serve two purposes: giving you time to plan the wedding day you want, but also giving you time to continue to grow as you anticipate your future together. While you want your wedding day to be special, authentic, memorable and unique, remember that marriage is what happens after the wedding day. You want to invest yourselves in making sure that you are giving your marriage every chance to succeed, so don’t overlook those big and important discussions along the way.