children

Children in your wedding party can be sweet and fun, if you plan appropriately and are willing to be flexible. Children will do as they please in the moment, but following these tips will increase the chances that the reality will match your vision:

1. Select children of the right age. If you want them to walk down the aisle independently (or with another child), age 5 or older is optimal.

2. If you choose to include younger children in your wedding party, consider having them walk in with a parent who is also in the wedding party, or be escorted all the way to the front by a parent not in the party. While this may be nontraditional, it may work best.

3. Have someone the children know monitor them as the wedding party lines up, so they can be whisked away in case of a meltdown. Additionally, have a familiar face near the front that the children can walk to so it isn’t a sea of strange faces.

4. Plan for the children to sit with family members during the ceremony. Little ones standing in front during the ceremony are likely to create a distraction for the wedding party, the guests, and you if they get bored.

5. Keep the children in your wedding party on their normal eating and sleeping schedules as much as possible.

6. Take pictures that include the children as close to the ceremony time (before or after) as possible. This minimizes the amount of time you expect them to behave and follow instructions.

7. If the children in your wedding party are your own or if both their parents are in your wedding party, have a caregiver in attendance to remove the children if needed. Ideally this is not a very close family member who will be unhappy if they miss part of the ceremony. A day care provider, babysitter or grandparents (but not your parents) are all good choices.

Even if you follow all of the above tips, remember that the children really are in charge. They will decide if they walk up the aisle… or if they run or refuse to move at all. They will decide if they toss flower petals, hold the sign facing out… or drop the ring pillow to the ground. They will decide if their faces are ringed in smiles, or smudged with tears. If you choose to have children in your wedding party remember to go with the flow and be prepared to deal with the unexpected. Sometimes the unexpected makes for the most memorable moments…