Yearly Archives: 2018

Secular Ceremonies: A Great Option

 in Ceremony / Music / Personalization / Readings / Rituals / Secular / Weddings  tagged non-religious wedding / personal ceremony / secular ceremonies / secular ceremony / secular wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony by

Secular ceremonies are growing in number across the United States. A third of people aged 18 – 34 do not identify with any religion, but want a meaningful, personal ceremony on their wedding day. If this defines you, secular or non-religious weddings are an option you’ll want to explore.

Because secular ceremonies are not bound by religious requirements they are more flexible and can include only the elements that are significant to you. Don’t want prayers and religious rituals? No problem. Want to include contemporary music and a poem that is meaningful to you? Again, no problem. Interested in having important people in your life help with a unity ritual like handfasting or a tree planting? Absolutely.

That kind of flexibility is possible with secular ceremonies because they are not pre-written ceremonies where only your names are slotted in as a token to personalization. Rather, working with your celebrant, you create the outline of your ceremony and collaborate to make it what you want it to be.

Handfasting, a unity ritual that can include family or friends

Options for music, readings and unity rituals are greater with secular ceremonies, and are limited only by your creativity. Beyond actual ceremony content you can also be creative with how you organize your processional and, recessional, and with your ceremony venue. I’ve had a groom escorted into the ceremony by his fellow adopted siblings, a bride escorted by her brother, sister-in-law and nieces, and a number of brides and grooms enter together. Recessional music is a great way to begin your post-ceremony celebration, and the theme from “Rocky” or “Everything is Awesome” from the Lego movie may fit you perfectly. Ceremonies have taken place in back yards, in caves and on beaches, in parks, museums, and theatres, and in historic barns and on beautiful golf courses, with each venue offering its own special appeal.

Garden wedding venue

If you aren’t tied to a religion and want your wedding ceremony to reflect on the love you’ve found together, honor the commitment you’re making to each other in marriage, and celebrate the bright future in front of you, then a secular ceremony is the perfect answer for you. I’ve been creating and performing secular ceremonies in southeastern Minnesota for nine years now, and can assure you that they are not only possible, but are well received by guests, are a great way to start your wedding day celebration, and will ensure great memories of your wedding for years to come.

Wedding Trends for 2019

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Personalization / Trends / Weddings  tagged personalized wedding / wedding day / wedding trends / weddings by

Wedding trends for 2019 are all over the internet as planning for next year’s wedding season is well underway. While it’s helpful to be aware of new ideas and trends for all aspects of your wedding day, it’s always best to make choices that are comfortable for you.

You’ll find a wide variety of predictions for next year’s wedding trends, and some of them even conflict with each other. Here are three articles that are fun to read with ideas that are fun to consider for your big day:

From Brides magazine: https://www.bridesmagazine.co.uk/gallery/2019-wedding-trends

From Shefinds.com: https://www.shefinds.com/collections/2019-popular-wedding-trends/#slide-1

From the UK Independent: https://www.msn.com/en-xl/middleeast/life-arts/five-wedding-trends-for-2019-according-to-experts/ar-BBN8pto#page=1

You’ll notice interesting menswear options listed in a couple of them, along with ideas for bringing nature indoors for both ceremonies and receptions. But you’ll also see some ideas that are only mentioned in one of the articles: practical wedding gowns and tiaras come to mind. There are a few ideas that you’ll find in all the articles, indicating a likelihood that you’ll see them in many weddings next year. The standout one in this category is eco conscious weddings. What exactly that means to you, however, will be up to you to decide.

There are a couple of trends that I’ve already seen making their way into southeastern Minnesota and that I especially like. First, the relaxed approach to wedding parties where you surround yourself with the important people in your world regardless of gender or number. Second, and the increasing popularity of unplugged ceremonies where guests are invited to set aside their devices during the ceremony, sit back and celebrate with you. Both are great options to consider for your wedding day.

Reading up on predicted wedding trends for 2019 is an easy and fun way to find ideas to consider, but at the end of the day, you’ll need to decide as a couple what fits your style, your vision and your budget as you plan your wedding. You want your wedding day to be a reflection of you, not of some stylist, planner or magazine article, so enjoy looking at the wedding trends and then plan a day that will be uniquely and authentically you.

Three Follow-up Stories

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged children in weddings / outdoor weddings / wedding ceremonies / wedding rehearsal by

Three follow-up stories are needed to provide updates to previous blog posts based on recent experiences. Experience always speaks louder than words, so allow me to share a few recent experiences that re-enforce my thoughts on some wedding related topics.

First, on the topic of early and late season outdoor weddings. Fall came quickly to Minnesota this year. Within a two week period I presided at a 90 degree, humid mid-September ceremony and two very chilly, blustery even, late September weddings. If you are planning a “shoulder season” wedding, I encourage you to let your guests know that an outdoor ceremony is planned so they can dress appropriately. You might also consider providing blankets for your guests, if possible. There were quite a few lightly dressed, shivering guests at the late September weddings.

Next, on the topic of rehearsals – I’m a fan of them, but realize that ceremonies are not rocket science. I’ve had a few recent ceremonies where the couple opted to go without a rehearsal that I ran. These experiences reminded me of all the little things that are covered at rehearsals – what time to gather to prep for the processional, how the men should offer their arm to the women in the wedding party, a reminder to keep hands out of pockets when walking into the ceremony space, and the fine details of where people will stand and how we will move during the ceremony. Both ceremonies were lovely, but could have been a bit more polished with a rehearsal.

The last of the three follow-up stories is about children in the wedding party. Recent ceremonies planned to include children; a four year old flower girl in one, and two sign bearers, approximately age three, in the second. The flower girl had practiced walking up the aisle, was going to be following one of her uncles, and had even read a story about a flower girl with her parents before the big day. Everything seemed set for success until the moment when she was to walk up the aisle with many strangers sitting in the chairs. She balked, and her mother whisked her away. As the ceremony began they quietly took chairs and enjoyed the ceremony. In the second ceremony one of the sign bearers broke down, too, and entered the ceremony in his mother’s arms (she was a bridesmaid, so that was fine). At the front, however, he couldn’t deal with letting her join the rest of the wedding party, and a family member quickly removed him from the space altogether. These experiences remind us that the little people really do get to do as they wish, and we need to be ready to react. With plans made ahead of time, both the ceremonies continued without a problem, and the children’s needs were met, too.

As these three follow-up stories demonstrate, planning all aspects of your wedding day really pays off. Your guests are more comfortable, your wedding party is confident, and the children in your wedding party are cared for. Wedding planning is a big, complex job, but pays off when your day arrives and flows smoothly.

New Wedding Venues Discovered

 in Ceremony / Venue / Weddings  tagged ceremony space / wedding ceremonies / wedding venues / weddings by

Discovering new wedding venues is part of the fun of each wedding season. New wedding venues in southeastern Minnesota mean more options for couples planning weddings – always a good thing. This year I had the pleasure of performing ceremonies at three new venues (or at least new to me), and thought I would share them. Each venue offers both indoor and outdoor ceremony spaces, a requirement for our variable weather.

River Run Event Center, Mantorville, MN: This venue is located on the grounds of the Zumbro Valley Golf Course in nearby Mantorville. The space is managed by Victoria’s Ristorante in Rochester and offers patio space for outdoor ceremonies and a good sized indoor room for indoor ceremonies and receptions.
River Run Event Center

The Gardens of Castle Rock, Northfield, MN: This is a lovely venue on the grounds of a garden center outside of Northfield. There are multiple outdoor venues to choose from, but the only “indoor” space is a large, fully enclosed tent used for receptions. There is a large plaza area for social hour that includes outdoor fireplaces, seating groups, and bar areas. Nearby green space is available for outdoor games, too.
Gardens of Castle Rock

Cedar Creek Barn, Winona, MN: This property is fairly new as a wedding venue, and is still enhancing the property and amenities. The inside of the barn has been whitewashed to provide bright, clean walls, and the cement floor remains. No heat or air conditioning is available, but large doors at each end of the barn allow for air flow. A newly added pavilion increases usable space, but is not fully covered, so is less useful in case of inclement weather.
Cedar Creek Barn

Each of these new wedding venues has its own personality, amenities and charms and is worth your consideration as you search for the one that matches your vision for your wedding day. Refer to my earlier post on evaluating venues for tips on how to decide which might be best for you.

Changing Rules for Wedding Parties

 in Ceremony / Trends / Weddings  tagged attendants / bridesmaids / groomsmen / wedding party / wedding rules by

Changing rules for wedding parties mean lots of options and choices when selecting who will stand with you on your wedding day. The traditional rules that set wedding parties as four or five women for the bride and a corresponding number of men for the groom seem antiquated and at times inappropriate.

With same sex couples leading the way, there are no longer rules about the gender of your attendants. It’s common to see a mix of men and women standing with each of the brides or grooms, and it makes perfect sense to include the people closest to you in your party, regardless of gender. One sweet wedding I officiated had the bride’s brother standing with her, and the groom’s sister standing with him. Honoring these special sibling relationships without worrying about gender made all the sense in the world.

Wedding parties these days range from zero attendants to nearly 20. Couples seeking to simplify their wedding day opt to forego a wedding party and have parents or siblings or good friends serve as the legal witnesses and sign the marriage paperwork. This seems to be a good approach for the busy, professional couple who aren’t interested in bachelor/bachelorette parties and prefer to spend more time with each other on the wedding day. At the other extreme are the “super wedding parties” with 10 or more attendants on each side. If this is appealing to you, just remember that it is much harder to manage and direct larger groups of people, and everything takes longer – from hair and make-up sessions to photography to the logistics of moving everyone from area to area.

Changing rules for wedding parties also makes space for uneven numbers of attendants. If you have 3 close friends, and your fiance(e) has 2 siblings and 2 close friends, those are the people you should have in your wedding party. The only time it may be more obvious that the numbers are not even is during the processional and recessional at your wedding ceremony, and by mixing things up and having each attendant enter alone or including a trio along with couples, those moments can be gracefully handled, too.

The changing rules for wedding parties has also required some new language. The people who stand with you can simply be referred to as attendants rather than bridesmaids and groomsmen. In place of maid/matron of honor and best man, we now have honor attendants. As you plan your wedding, consider who the important people in your life are, and build your wedding party accordingly. All options for numbers and genders of attendants are open to you so surround yourselves with supportive people who want to make the day special for you.